New Year's Resolutions

New year is going to step on very soon. Just in 6 more hours time.

From small until now, I didn't really set a resolution for myself throughout the year. But I hope to make some changes in the coming year 2012.

I want to set up a resolution plan for myself to achieve in the year 2012.

Hmmm....so let's see what is my resolution 2012:

1. Learn up as much as things in my career. Don't keep wait for the senior to ask me to do.
2. Decrease my weight to the limit I've set since this morning I weighed, omg, I'm over limit!
3. No shopping anymore in the first half year of 2012. (because I spent a lots in buying unnecessary things.:( )
4. Must restart my exercise again! Twice a week if didn't go for outstation.
5. Must do savings.
6. Must learn to do some investment.
7. Must learn to love and care everyone in my life.
8. If found my true love, must appreciate him. Not to repeat my mistakes again.
9. Learn to control my emotions, my tempered. Do not easily get angry.
10. Must do some charity works and keep update with my sponsored kid!

I think 10 resolutions will be best for me. Hopefully that I can achieve all of these throughout the year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012 to all my beloved family, friends and you. I love you all so much! ♥

Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve!

Nothing much happened during this week because all of us were on the holiday mood.

I felt myself very great because I was driving alone back from PJ to Seremban. This is my first time to drive alone and so long distance. But I felt good because I no longer need to depend on people to fetch me back hometown in future. Yippie! Does it count as a good job I've done before the end of year 2011?

Hmmm..whatelse? Oh ya...went to celebrate Christmas eve eve eve with my colleague and then went for a movie, "New Year's Eve". It was not bad, quite meaningful movie. And funny too.

Other than that, Thursday went to shopping with the colleague again and can't bought anything because all not suit me. So sad...nevermind, still got lots of shopping centers and boutiques waiting for me. :)

Today is Christmas Eve, hope my family and my friends have a great great celebration tonight and Merry Christmas! Love you all! <3

Mixture of Moods

Today got a mixture of moods.

At first was sleepy and boring because need to attend a stupid course whole day which actually only need 2 hours to complete. Wasted my time.

In the meantime, my colleague sent a message to another colleague who attended the course with me telling him that our company had declare 24th and 31st December as holiday and the suppose holiday on Monday is cancelled. I was WTH when I heard this news and moody since that.

Okay, that's nevermind since this is company's decision. I can't do anything also. Just can accept it.

After the course, I was happy because I went to One Utama to shop for Christmas's presents. When I saw all those Christmas's decorations, gifts, Santa Clause, etc....I was so excited. The feeling of holiday is getting nearer! I shopped for 1 hour plus in order to get those presents.

During shopping, I'd received a call from my colleague and she told me that yes, 24th and 31st December have declare as holiday but..... the following Monday also holiday! Waoooo....I was so so so happy! Meaning that I have three days holiday for both of this date! Thank you so much my company! :)

I think I have to plan my holiday now! Any suggestion, friends?

After I reached home, I got call from my father. He told me that there is a letter from PTPTN for me. I was like WHAT? I have no relation with PTPTN but why they sent me a letter? The letter content is saying that I owe them RM 21k. What the hell! I cancelled it once I got my scholarship and I didn't take any cents from you bitch! Government really stupid. I guess because of this, I need to run here run there to settle it since you all know that what is the attitude our government's workers have! Damn it!

The day with my three little darlings!

The day with my three darlings!

It's been long time since we four went out together.

My day was brighten by them. I love outings with you girls.

We knew each other for almost 10 years. It is not a short period. Although sometimes we had misunderstanding, but we've overcome it. And now, we still are best friends.

Everytime when I was upset, you all will by my side and support me especially my lovely Mei Yen. I love you so much. <3

Hope that our friendship will last forever and endless! And we must plan to have more and more outings in future!

xoxo

The Eclipse

Today hot news! Full moon eclipse is on the sky!

Newspapers, Facebook, everyone, everywhere is talking about the eclipse.

Here are the both pictures of normal full moon and the eclipse.

The normal full moon

The eclipse <3

My New Hair Style!

Yesterday my mood was really terrible! I almost wanted to cry in office!

But I controlled it because I don't want people thought that I'm weak!

But, something had lighten up my night - New Hair Style!

I've booked to do something on my hair one month ago and yesterday was the day!

I reached the saloon at 5.30pm and the stylist started to 'renovate' my hair around 6pm.

So guessed what? I used 4 and a half hours to complete my hair renovation!

My god! I was so hungry and sleepy!

But luckily, the result was satisfied and I think it is worth for me to get hungry and gastric. :)...p/s:(those who care for me please don't scold me because of gastric...LOL)

I scared of the curl hair doesn't suit for me and all the reasons for me to postpone until yesterday. Yea yea!!! I finally stepped out the first step for curled and dyed my hair! It's really needed a lots of courage for me to do it!

So people, if you want to do something, just go for it! You will never know the result if you never try! Once you've try, you know the result, and you will not regrets! This is applicable to all of you! In life, work, love and everything.

What I can say now is I LOVE MY NEW HAIR STYLE WITH NO REGRETS! :)

The most difficult part! My neck was so tired!

The product! ♥

Damn!

Don't know why today my mood was not very good!

Early in the morning already felt tired and mood was bad!

So, when the senior taught me about work, I also didn't talk much but just listened.

That's fine because at least I still haven't explode!

But after lunch, I went to check out for something and I found out got some problem. So I went to tell him the problem but he just bla this bla that.

Ok! It's fine. I tried again for second time by myself. But at the end, still cannot be solved. Alright! I told him about that and he said the same thing again and he expected that I know how to solve myself which I didn't experience before. Damn him! If I know how to solve it, I will not go to ask for your help, ok? And that time, I'd exploded! I speaked loudly with him although I knew that this is not respect him. But who care! Does he worth me to respect?

But nevermind, I will solve it myself tomorrow! I will not ask you for the third time! F**K!

爱。。。一直都在......Love....is always there

I just watched a video made by an insurans company. The story is about a father is going to die while his daughter is still a child. He wants to play seek and hide with her. He said he will hide longer for this time. So in the meantime, she has to help her father to take care the mother. The rule of this seek and hide is she only can ask her mother about where her father hide after 10 years!

It made me think about my lovely mom.

爱。。。一直都在......Love....is always there.

I suddenly so miss you, mom!

Just now told about you with my colleague, I felt like I'm going to cry but I control myself. I can't cry anymore because I'd promise I want to be strong and tough. So I will not let myself being so weak. I will not make you feel disappointed!

I so miss you........

遇见

‘要在对的时间遇见对的人，不要差一点错过了对的人。‘

我非常的认同和赞同这句话。。。
有些人，在错的时间遇见对的人
有些人，在对的时间遇见错的人
有些人，在错的时间遇见错的人
当然，也有些人，在对的时间遇见对的人。

我呢，希望我不会再错过那个在对的时间遇到对的人了！
我一定会好好地珍惜那个对的人。。。
因为，我不要也不想辜负和伤害那个对的人。♥

我也希望我身边的朋友能够在对的时间，遇见他们对的人，永远幸福快乐！

xoxo

Chances

"Everything has no turning point after it happened"

I very agreed with this statement. Once it happened, you can't turn it back because it might caused hurt in physical or mental.
Although you're trying to fix it back, but it is useless. There will always have a scar that you cannot recover forever.
I guessed the fixing period is important too. When people is giving you the chance, but you missed it, then it's too late when the time you want back the chance.
We must really appreciate what we are having now and don't miss out any chances that people giving you. Not everyone will giving you the second chance again once you miss it!
And then, everything is change and different!
That's why I appreciate everything I'm having now
Family, My best girlfriends and YOU.

xoxo

Stupid life!

I don't like my working life recently!

I found out that the people in working life are so complicated!

Gossip about each other behind the people, hate the people who do less work, want to bother all the things happened around them, etc.

But I want to know that, is that necessary for you to bother so much? I think all of these are none of your business. Can't you just mind your own business instead of others?

My mood was totally spoilt yesterday! I really can't understand human well.

Seniority is that so important for you all? People who do not want to respect you, then is your problem. You are the one should think about it but not discussed behind!

But luckily, I got my real friends accompany me along the way! And they are much more simple and lovely than the working adults!

Pity blog!

Waooo...it's been ages since I updated my blog! Pity my bloggie.

Well, I'm just too lazy to write recently. But let's make the story short and sweet. :)

I had worked for 3 months and the life there still not bad. But recently my boss gave me some work to handle already. So scare to make mistake.

My convocation is on next Saturday! So nervous and excited!

And I spent alot after I worked. In my mind set now is I can buy anything that I can't afford when studied. LOL.... That's the cause of no money now! :(

That day was AirAsia free seat period and I've booked two places to travel next year - Miri & Cambodia! Can't wait for them! <3

I think that's all first since now is short and sweet. :P

xoxo

Update

I have mixture of moods recently.

Got happy, down, feel sick and tired.

These two days, my stomach feel uneasy. Feel like over acidic. So sour in my stomach and of course, it's suffering. Long time don't have this feel already but it came back yesterday! I hate it.

Then working life still the same and maybe going for the next outstation next week.

Hmmm...I'm too tired want to continue this post because of the stomach make me feel want to vomit!

I'll stop here! xoxo

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The 300th post is dedicate to my 2nd outstation - Johor Bharu.

This trip is much more fun than the previous one because this is different group of colleagues I went with and the place is much more better!

This time I went to refinery and learn ISO Audit.

The people there were nice and friendly. The foods there were so so but at least no need to eat spicy foods. The hotel is the best part of this trip because it is a FIVE STAR hotel. It was so enjoyable and comfortable.

I even went to gym with my colleague after work because both of us think that we gained weight and need to do exercise.

This trip overall is fun, enjoy and most noisest but I like it.

I love outstation but n

I just went back from outstation to Kedah yesterday.

This is my first outstation and I recieved this outstation last minute.

Well, before I was going to the estate, I was worried.

But after I went, I felt it is not that scary and worse than my senior told me.

I still can adapt the life there. It's sometimes better than I work in SB because during outstation, we can ended our work earlier and rest earlier.

Besides, I no need to pay 1 cent during the four days of my outstation because all is paid by company. It's sound great right?

But sometimes, it is quite boring also because what they talked about, I can't understood at all in the meantime.

And and and....I hate hotel. I heard my colleague said sometimes only will have 1 girl and few boys to outstation and that time, I have to sleep alone in the hotel. My godness, I scare the most to stay alone in the hotel but now and maybe I have to! But hopefully, my boss will not that cruel and treat me so badly!

Nothing to talk about this outstation because I just be an observer and learn things.

Working Life!

After worked for 17days, let me briefly talked about my working life.

First day of work, I still used to it because I'd worked there during my internship.

So far, I have nothing to do except study and learn to do testings which I'd learnt during internship too.

Today went into boss's office and he asked seniors to bring me for outstation next 2 weeks. It's quite fun and interesting I guessed but it will be very tired too.

But suddenly, one of my colleague called me and asked me to go for outstation next Monday for 5 days. It's too suddenly but I quite looking forward to it. I want some new experience which I can't get it inside my office.

Okay for all these, one of the most thing I can't tahan is one of my colleague...hmmm..how to say? He is too kind? Too helpful? Or too nagging? I just can't stand with him anymore. Last time, I hope can join his section but now, I hope I can join another section which I prefer more and that is my interest. So now, I just pray everyday hope that my boss will arrange me to the section I wish to join. If I join that section, I'll run away from his nagging but somehow, I still need to listen for his nag sometimes I guess.

Well, this is what I can said about my working life. So far, so good because everyone tell me the same thing which is...."You good lo, study can get salary....."....So I'm using this mind to let myself love this job. =)

Updates!

It's been long time after I've abandon this blog. So let's have a quick update.

I'm officially say goodbye to university's life and going to say hello to working's life soon.

Actually, I'm not very happy to this changes in my life. I have no excitement of graduation, no excitement of working.

After work, there will be alot of commitments and this is my responsibility. I scare I can't handle it well but I will try my best.

For the moment, I just stay at house and rest enough before my new life is starting.

Another thing that harras me is I need to drive alone in KL during my working life. Oh my god! I'm scare of it but I have to overcome this fear because I am force to! So friends, wish me all the best!

After almost 5 months of your leave, I still always think about you and and your everything! I'm just too miss you, mum.

God, my wish for the rest of my life is hope that my family members will stay healthy and happy forever!

母亲节！

又是一年一度的母亲节了！

今年的我，必须在没妈妈的情况下渡过母亲节！

以往的我们，一定会带妈妈出去吃饭庆祝或者是在家煮饭给她吃，然后送她礼物。

不过，今年不一样了。

所有所有的东西都不一样了，唯一没变的是，我对妈妈的思念。

我想，在妈妈离开以后，我再也不会庆祝母亲节了，因为没妈妈的存在，没什么好值得我庆祝的。

姐姐今天告诉我同样的东西。。。。今年没有妈妈和我们一起庆祝母亲节了！原来姐姐都和我一样，一直一直都在想念着您！

妈，我会记得每一个我们一起渡过的节日，然后在心里面陪您庆祝。

妈，您在新的国度有幸福吗，开心吗？

妈，希望您能听到我要对您说的。。。。

母亲节快乐！！我永远爱您，直到我们再一次的相遇！

一百天

今天是第一百天了。。。转眼间，您已经离开我那么就了！

可是我还是会无时无刻的想起您。。。

那天去外公的公德，听表姐说不能每天那么地想您，不然您会不舍得，会很辛苦的。。。

可是，真的是这样吗？我反而觉得，如果您知道我已经不想您了，妈，您应该更伤心吧？

不过不要紧，我是不可能不想您的。。。

妈，我正在考大考了。第一次没有您的支持。。。。不过，我是不会让您失望的！

我会好好的加油，考到好成绩，做您成功的女儿！

缘分。。。

缘分来的时候，挡也挡不住。

缘分结束的时候，留也留不住！

消失的声音

今天，所有的亲朋戚友都聚集在我的家。所有的谈话声，笑声，都很熟悉，可是呢，就少了一个人的声音。从此以后，我再也不可能听到妈妈的声音了。以后也不会有那把熟悉的声音出现了。

一眨眼已经是两个月了！我的生活也没什么变化。

一样的烦闷，无聊，提不起劲做任何的事情。

心情也慢慢的平复下来了。。。

这个星期五会比较忙。。。

忙着筹备course night，跳舞。。。

我真的很累。。。过了这个，又要忙着温习功课应付考试。

快喘不过气了。。。真想抛开一切，享受人生。

星期四那天，旧公司叫我去应征工作！

希望能得到那份工，因为我满喜欢那边的环境，那边的人。。。

人生啊。。。真的很忙碌！

散场的拥抱

从你的眼角
慢慢的明瞭
我能做的很少
原来你藏着伤
但不想和我聊
你选的电影
像某种预告
不坦白的主角
最后流着眼泪
坚持独自走掉

散场的拥抱
我还在燃烧 但你心里的浪潮
拒绝让我看到
你煎熬 不肯定什么是最想要
爱才又像乐园又像监牢
散场的拥抱 混乱的心跳
多宁愿只是争吵
还能道歉和好
我知道 你留着和他所有合照
明明面前是答案 却撕掉不要

呵护的祈祷 温柔的讨好
爱能让人渺小 苦笑冒充微笑
浪漫得不肯逃

散场的拥抱
我还在燃烧 但你心里的浪潮
拒绝让我看到
你煎熬 不肯定什么是最想要
爱才又像乐园又像监牢
散场的拥抱 混乱的心跳
多宁愿只是争吵
还能道歉和好
我知道 我们和你们不能比较
但我的爱多强悍 出乎你预料

散场的拥抱
我还在燃烧 但你心里的浪潮
拒绝让我看到
你煎熬 不肯定什么是最想要
爱才又像乐园又像监牢
散场的拥抱 混乱的心跳
多宁愿只是争吵
还能道歉和好
我知道
太美的回忆相副手铐
越是挣脱越缠绕
我比你明瞭

The End!

Everything is come to the end after sometimes.

As I said, everything is predestined. Nothing can be force,

include friends, relationships and life.

Maybe this will be the best solution either.

I just hope everyone is happy after this.

And I'm so sorry to those who I hurted before.

Forgive or not, just depend on you because I will not force anyone anymore!

这几个礼拜都心情很低落，对什么事情都没兴趣。

也没好好的睡觉了。每次半夜也会醒过来。

莫名其妙的心情不好，也不知道有什么原因。

或许，我怀疑自己将要患忧郁症了！哈哈哈！

昨天，我崩溃了！竟然在学校一个人哭泣！

我觉得我需要眼泪来平复我的心情。

我有时觉得活着也没什么意义了，做什么也不对，也要被别人批评！

感觉到我做人非常的失败，非常的孤独.

有时，我宁愿自己一个人做任何事情也比较愉快！

不需要去顾虑任何人的感受和意见, 要怎样就怎样， 不受拘束！

昨天，也是我爆发的一天！在妈妈去世以后，第一次哭的最厉害的一天！

或许，一切也注定好的！没什么好强求的！冷静或许对我来说，是先在做的事。

第49天

今天是您离开的第49天。。。

原来你才离开我们49天而已，不过感觉上您已经离开我们很久了。

对您的思念一点也没减少，反而越来越多。。。

妈，您好吗？您现在在哪儿呢？

有想念我们吗？您有在看着我们吗？

如果您有什么需要的话，记得来找我，告诉我，知道吗？

妈，您知道吗，我有一个朋友时常都有帮您祈祷的，好让您早日去极乐世界，您有听到吗？

她是个很好的女孩来的。。。我也非常的重视她这位朋友！

最近，我都不是很开心因为一些事情，不过我也慢慢的学会看开了！这让我知道谁值得让我对他/她付出，我不会再笨笨的做一些没有人会珍惜的事情了！

我宁愿把心思放在亲人，爱我的人，珍惜我的人身上了！

妈，我永远爱您！

人是善变的。。。这个我非常地赞同。

无可否认我也是其中的一个， 不过我非常地不喜欢一个人明明已经答应了一件已成定局的事，可是因为某人告诉一些不是问题的东西，就改变主意。

我拜托啦。。。以后你和他讨论好之后再做决定吧！还有，我不再会像个乞丐那样求你了！

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

今天我也收到一个我认定她是我最要好的朋友给我的一封信。我非常地感动，眼泪也渐渐的留了出来。谢谢你那么的关心我。我也很对不起你哦因为每天和你斗嘴。可是我只是闹着玩的。希望你不要放在心上哦，因为我依然会永远爱你，你永远会是我非常好的朋友！谢谢你!

Tears!

It's one month and two days you had leave me!

Mommy, I still will remember the time when you leave me.

You know what mom, yesterday auntie asked about you again in front of me and I can't control my tears anymore. Tears were queueing two lines on my cheek. I think no matter how long, whenever have people asking about you, I'll still will cry. I feel want to cry like no one care, no one know. Every single moment I had been with you still being so real in my mind. I feel want to hug you, talk with you, complain to you about my uni's life and every single thingy happened around me to you.

I need to pretend like I'm ok in front people. I don't like all these! When I think of you, I need to control my tears hardly not to let them fall down when in front of people. It's a tough job for me but honestly speaking, I think I had done a good job after all. I just failed twice being so weak!

I know everything and everyone still need to move on and so do I. I'm trying to do so. But when I saw some people have mommy to take care and love them, I felt jealousy and upset. I know I was very lucky already because at least I had mommy by my side for over 22years. While some other people don't even meet their mommy once they were born or when they were still babies. I know I am lucky! But I am greedy indeed. What I want is my lovely parents and siblings can be with me forever! Sometimes I rather think I want to be the first to die because like this I will not have any sad feelings. I know got such thoughts is very selfish and crazy but I am just a coward!

末班车

空着手 犹如你来的时候
紧皱的额头 终於再没有苦痛
走得太累了 眼皮难免会沉重
你没错 是应该回家坐坐

鸣笛声 悄悄地刺进耳朵
这一次挥手 恐怕再没机会问候
最后一遍了 换你躲进我双肘
像靠在 曾摇动我的天空

别说话泪水你别带走
镜子里的我 已留下你轮廓上的笑容
别回眸 末班车要开了
你不过先走
深爱是让不舍离开的人 好好走

鸣笛声 悄悄地刺进耳朵
这一次挥手 恐怕再没机会问候
最后一遍了 换你躲进我双肘
像靠在 曾摇动我的天空

别说话 泪水你别带走
镜子里的我 已留下你轮廓上的笑容
别回眸 末班车要开了
你不过先走
深爱是让不舍离开的人 好好走

别牵挂 约好我们再见
散步的午后 要像从前
再挽着手叙旧

别逗留 末班车要开了
路到了尽头 回头是爲
永留心口的人
好好走

抉择

人生就是一场抉择！做每一件事情都必须做决定。

这几天，我周围的朋友都在困扰着到底要不要继续升造。

那当然我也是其中的一个。不过我想我已经做好了决定。

这个决定，也是我考虑很久了。种种的因素让我有这个决定。

不知道这是对的抉择吗，不过应该是目前我想要的吧。

我想我周围的朋友还有很多都还不能做决定，不过，我相信他们都会好好的考虑自己想要的是什么，然后做个明智的选择。

妈，对不起哦如果我的决定不是您想要的。

不过我答应您，如果有机会，我一定会实现我的梦想的！

没有您的除夕夜

今天是除夕夜，也是第一次吃团圆饭没有您在。

妈，您过的好吗？您有回来家陪我们吗？

非常的想念您呢。

第一年您不再与我们吃团圆饭，第一年您不会再给我们红包，第一年没有初二会娘家，第一年没有您对我们唠叨要我们收拾家里。

我真的不习惯这一切，不过所有的人都叫我要看开。

可是他们怎能了解我的心情呢？

您与我生活了22年，怎能说看开就能呢？

妈，虽然我在朋友的面前都笑笑，可是我内心可不是这样。

我不想他们为我担心，也不想爸与哥哥姐姐担心我。

我就是那么的脆弱，我不是人前的那么坚强的。

我宁愿懦弱。。。

妈啊。。。您在另一个国度会冷吗？吃的饱吗？会怕吗？

您不要怕呀。。。我会永远的支持您的。

妈，您不能忘记我，知道吗？我下一世也要做您的女儿，做您宝贝女儿，好好孝顺您，照顾您。

妈，新年快乐！我爱您！

Outing

I went to temple yesterday with sis and bro because boyfie's mom asked me to go there to do something.

Then I called her and she said alot of things that made me feel touch. Thanks auntie.

Yesterday I went for gathering with old-school-mates.

This is the first time I met them after mom leave.

I was so relieved after had a chat with them.

They really are my happy stars.

I love them so much....Thanks for by my side whenever I need you guys!

We going to have a reunion dinner tomorrow!Yippie....

。梦。

妈，前几天我在KL家睡觉的时候，我梦见您来参加我的毕业典礼呢！

那是多么的真实，您知道吗？

我抱着您，眼泪就不自觉地掉了下来。

梦中的我，是开心的哭了。

抱着您的时候，我能感觉到您的体温，是温暖的。

您知道吗？我是多么的希望我的梦可以成真，您可以真的来参加我的毕业典礼。

我的心很痛。。。

当我醒过来后，才知道这只是个梦！

妈，不管怎样，我都希望您能来参加我的毕业典礼。

Goodbye's the saddest word

Mama you gave life to me
Turned a baby into a lady
And mama all you had to offer
Was a promise of a lifetime of love
Now I know there is no other love
like a mother’s
Love for her child
I know
love so complete
someday must leave
Must say goodbye

Goodbye’s the saddest word I’ll ever hear
Goodbye’s the last time I will hold you near
Someday you’ll say that word and I will cry
It’ll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

Mama you gave love to me
Turned a young one into a woman
Mama all I ever needed
Was a guarantee of you loving me
’Cause I know there is no other love like a mother’s
Love for her child
And it hurts so
That something so strong
Someday’ll be gone
Must say goodbye

Goodbye’s the saddest word I’ll ever hear
Goodbye’s the last time I will hold you near
Someday you’ll say that word and I will cry
It’ll break my heart to hear you say goodbye
But the love you give will always live

You’ll always be there every time I fall
You want to be the greatest love of me
You take my weakness and you make me strong
And I will always love you till forever comes
ah...........
And when you need me
I’ll be there for you always
I’ll be there your

Goodbye’s the saddest word I’ll ever hear
Goodbye’s the last time I will hold you near
Someday you’ll say that word and I will cry
It’ll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

妈，我生病了！可是，这次我再也不能亲口和您撒娇了。

生病的时候最想念您了。

今天是您回魂的日子，所以我们全部都回家。

我也开始放假了。所以啊妈，我会有一个礼拜多可以在家陪您了。

妈，我想要您可以照顾生病的我。

我真的很想念以前和您的一切一切。。。。

Today!

Mama, today I started to back to uni's life again.

Once reached uni, I doesn't feel like want to talk. Doesn't want to social.

Just don't have the mood.

My mind keep thinking of you.

Last week at this time, you just leave me. Leave me without saying anything to me. And I was on my way back to see you. I was so regret that I didn't accompany you. When I saw your body, your heart didn't beat anymore. Your eyes didn't open again. All the machines that connected to your body already been moved. You didn't response to me when I was calling you. I just keep thinking of that scene. I can still felt your body is warmed. But the reality is you already gone.

You know what, I feel stress as well because I missed 3 weeks' lectures and I scared that I can't cope with it. I scared I will disappoint you.

I'm scare of everything without you by my side.

I suddenly feel that I don't like KL's life.

I want to back hometown.

At least at there, I still can refresh back everything you did in the house and also company dad.

Mama, I really miss you alot.

I don't know when can I stand up again but I really need your support.

Mama, can you appear in front of me? Can you let me feel that you are beside me always whenever and wherever I am?

Frankly speaking, I hate Monday! I hate Monday's noon! I hate 17th.

头柒

妈，今天是您离开的第7天了。。。

在这7天里，都没有您的声音，您的气息，您的味道。。。

妈，您有回来家里看我们吗？

为什么您没有出现在我的梦中呢？

您真的不要我了吗？

我对您说过的。。。

我愿意陪在您的身边照顾您的。。。

您回来吧，妈！

回来让我实行我对您的承诺吧，好不好？

您知道吗？我今天想起那天在医院看您的最后一面。。。

我觉得他们很残忍。。。为什么那样的对您呢？

为什么不尊敬您呢？

看了让我觉得心碎。。。

妈，对不起。。。我没好好的保护您！

三朝

刚刚从墓园回来，因为今天是妈妈三朝。

说真的，家里没有了妈妈是很不自在的。

大哥昨天才说少了妈妈，家里变得很无聊。

我心都酸了。。。看着妈妈以前的照片。。。不禁想起以前的点点滴滴。

以前，每天都是一家人坐着吃饭的。可是，现在您却不在了。不再和我们坐一起，有说有笑的吃饭了。

我看着您的食物是摆放在您的灵牌前，而不是和我们一起吃了，就不禁的心痛了！

妈妈真的很可怜。。。还没有儿女享福，就这样走了！

妈。。。我的这个部落格以后将会写关于我对您的思念！我知道您一定会看到的。

我对您的思念不会减少的。。。我也不会忘记您！我会永远想念您，永远把您留在我的心中！

妈，以后我有什么事，我一定会告诉您的。一定会像以前一样和您分享我的一切的！永远都不会改变！我对您的爱。。。会是永远的！

第五天

今天是您离开我的第五天。。。

早上一起身，不见您的踪影了。

您平常躺的椅子也不再看到您了。。。

没有您的声音，您的笑声。。。真的很不习惯

再也不会有您对我唠叨，对我关心的声音了。

真的很怀念您的声音！

妈。。。您还好吗？

一个人会怕，会孤单吗？

我知道您一定会寂寞的。。。因为您是那么的喜欢热闹，喜欢我们陪在您的身边。

每当我放完假要回去读书，您一定会告诉我您很不舍得，会很寂寞，因为没人很您谈天了。

每一次您这样说，我就会很心酸，因为我是多么的想每天留在您身边呢。

我真的很想能陪在您的身边，照顾您，侍候您，陪您聊天。。。

妈，我想要见您！

一切都不一样了

我最爱的妈妈已经离开我第4天了。

昨天晚上是我最后一次见到我的妈妈真人。。。最后一次了！

她彻底的离开了我。

我非常的不舍得妈妈！为什么老天爷要那么快把我妈妈带走？

她还很年轻。。。心地善良，待人随和，她也没做坏事。。。可是为什么就让她就这样的离开我们呢？

她还有很多东西还没做的。她要参加我的毕业典礼，哥哥的婚礼，姐姐带男朋友回家。。。

妈。。。为什么您不要坚强一点战胜这一关呢？我们还很需要您的。。。

如今。。。我的生活点滴再也没有您的出现了！我不甘心！您说您最疼我的。。。可是为什么您就那么忍心的丢下我呢？

我还不会照顾我自己的。。。

我情愿生病的人是我。。。受苦的也是我。。。我什么都甘愿，只要妈妈您回来！

您还没让我好好照顾您，报答您的养育之恩。您也还没有享福的！

妈。。。您知道吗？我有很多很多的东西要和您讲的。

我很恨当初无知的我。。。当您还在的时候，我却跟您赌气一个月不和您讲话！可是现在呢。。。我要讲，您也不能回答我了！我真的很恨我自己！恨我伤害您的心！我也很后悔没有好好的珍惜您！妈。。。。。。我很想念您！您可以回家看看我吗？可以出现在我的梦中让我与您谈天吗？妈。。。。。。您的宝贝女儿非常的爱您，想您！！