It's Dragon Year!

This year Chinese New Year, we whole family had joint my dad's friend and families went for a trip to the north. Here are the pictures that can tell the story.

Daddy and us! <3

The group picture!

爱。。。一直都在......Love....is always there

I just watched a video made by an insurans company. The story is about a father is going to die while his daughter is still a child. He wants to play seek and hide with her. He said he will hide longer for this time. So in the meantime, she has to help her father to take care the mother. The rule of this seek and hide is she only can ask her mother about where her father hide after 10 years!

It made me think about my lovely mom.

爱。。。一直都在......Love....is always there.

I suddenly so miss you, mom!

Just now told about you with my colleague, I felt like I'm going to cry but I control myself. I can't cry anymore because I'd promise I want to be strong and tough. So I will not let myself being so weak. I will not make you feel disappointed!

I so miss you........

母亲节！

又是一年一度的母亲节了！

今年的我，必须在没妈妈的情况下渡过母亲节！

以往的我们，一定会带妈妈出去吃饭庆祝或者是在家煮饭给她吃，然后送她礼物。

不过，今年不一样了。

所有所有的东西都不一样了，唯一没变的是，我对妈妈的思念。

我想，在妈妈离开以后，我再也不会庆祝母亲节了，因为没妈妈的存在，没什么好值得我庆祝的。

姐姐今天告诉我同样的东西。。。。今年没有妈妈和我们一起庆祝母亲节了！原来姐姐都和我一样，一直一直都在想念着您！

妈，我会记得每一个我们一起渡过的节日，然后在心里面陪您庆祝。

妈，您在新的国度有幸福吗，开心吗？

妈，希望您能听到我要对您说的。。。。

母亲节快乐！！我永远爱您，直到我们再一次的相遇！

一百天

今天是第一百天了。。。转眼间，您已经离开我那么就了！

可是我还是会无时无刻的想起您。。。

那天去外公的公德，听表姐说不能每天那么地想您，不然您会不舍得，会很辛苦的。。。

可是，真的是这样吗？我反而觉得，如果您知道我已经不想您了，妈，您应该更伤心吧？

不过不要紧，我是不可能不想您的。。。

妈，我正在考大考了。第一次没有您的支持。。。。不过，我是不会让您失望的！

我会好好的加油，考到好成绩，做您成功的女儿！

Tears!

It's one month and two days you had leave me!

Mommy, I still will remember the time when you leave me.

You know what mom, yesterday auntie asked about you again in front of me and I can't control my tears anymore. Tears were queueing two lines on my cheek. I think no matter how long, whenever have people asking about you, I'll still will cry. I feel want to cry like no one care, no one know. Every single moment I had been with you still being so real in my mind. I feel want to hug you, talk with you, complain to you about my uni's life and every single thingy happened around me to you.

I need to pretend like I'm ok in front people. I don't like all these! When I think of you, I need to control my tears hardly not to let them fall down when in front of people. It's a tough job for me but honestly speaking, I think I had done a good job after all. I just failed twice being so weak!

I know everything and everyone still need to move on and so do I. I'm trying to do so. But when I saw some people have mommy to take care and love them, I felt jealousy and upset. I know I was very lucky already because at least I had mommy by my side for over 22years. While some other people don't even meet their mommy once they were born or when they were still babies. I know I am lucky! But I am greedy indeed. What I want is my lovely parents and siblings can be with me forever! Sometimes I rather think I want to be the first to die because like this I will not have any sad feelings. I know got such thoughts is very selfish and crazy but I am just a coward!

末班车

空着手 犹如你来的时候
紧皱的额头 终於再没有苦痛
走得太累了 眼皮难免会沉重
你没错 是应该回家坐坐

鸣笛声 悄悄地刺进耳朵
这一次挥手 恐怕再没机会问候
最后一遍了 换你躲进我双肘
像靠在 曾摇动我的天空

别说话泪水你别带走
镜子里的我 已留下你轮廓上的笑容
别回眸 末班车要开了
你不过先走
深爱是让不舍离开的人 好好走

鸣笛声 悄悄地刺进耳朵
这一次挥手 恐怕再没机会问候
最后一遍了 换你躲进我双肘
像靠在 曾摇动我的天空

别说话 泪水你别带走
镜子里的我 已留下你轮廓上的笑容
别回眸 末班车要开了
你不过先走
深爱是让不舍离开的人 好好走

别牵挂 约好我们再见
散步的午后 要像从前
再挽着手叙旧

别逗留 末班车要开了
路到了尽头 回头是爲
永留心口的人
好好走

没有您的除夕夜

今天是除夕夜，也是第一次吃团圆饭没有您在。

妈，您过的好吗？您有回来家陪我们吗？

非常的想念您呢。

第一年您不再与我们吃团圆饭，第一年您不会再给我们红包，第一年没有初二会娘家，第一年没有您对我们唠叨要我们收拾家里。

我真的不习惯这一切，不过所有的人都叫我要看开。

可是他们怎能了解我的心情呢？

您与我生活了22年，怎能说看开就能呢？

妈，虽然我在朋友的面前都笑笑，可是我内心可不是这样。

我不想他们为我担心，也不想爸与哥哥姐姐担心我。

我就是那么的脆弱，我不是人前的那么坚强的。

我宁愿懦弱。。。

妈啊。。。您在另一个国度会冷吗？吃的饱吗？会怕吗？

您不要怕呀。。。我会永远的支持您的。

妈，您不能忘记我，知道吗？我下一世也要做您的女儿，做您宝贝女儿，好好孝顺您，照顾您。

妈，新年快乐！我爱您！

。梦。

妈，前几天我在KL家睡觉的时候，我梦见您来参加我的毕业典礼呢！

那是多么的真实，您知道吗？

我抱着您，眼泪就不自觉地掉了下来。

梦中的我，是开心的哭了。

抱着您的时候，我能感觉到您的体温，是温暖的。

您知道吗？我是多么的希望我的梦可以成真，您可以真的来参加我的毕业典礼。

我的心很痛。。。

当我醒过来后，才知道这只是个梦！

妈，不管怎样，我都希望您能来参加我的毕业典礼。

Goodbye's the saddest word

Mama you gave life to me
Turned a baby into a lady
And mama all you had to offer
Was a promise of a lifetime of love
Now I know there is no other love
like a mother’s
Love for her child
I know
love so complete
someday must leave
Must say goodbye

Goodbye’s the saddest word I’ll ever hear
Goodbye’s the last time I will hold you near
Someday you’ll say that word and I will cry
It’ll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

Mama you gave love to me
Turned a young one into a woman
Mama all I ever needed
Was a guarantee of you loving me
’Cause I know there is no other love like a mother’s
Love for her child
And it hurts so
That something so strong
Someday’ll be gone
Must say goodbye

Goodbye’s the saddest word I’ll ever hear
Goodbye’s the last time I will hold you near
Someday you’ll say that word and I will cry
It’ll break my heart to hear you say goodbye
But the love you give will always live

You’ll always be there every time I fall
You want to be the greatest love of me
You take my weakness and you make me strong
And I will always love you till forever comes
ah...........
And when you need me
I’ll be there for you always
I’ll be there your

Goodbye’s the saddest word I’ll ever hear
Goodbye’s the last time I will hold you near
Someday you’ll say that word and I will cry
It’ll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

妈，我生病了！可是，这次我再也不能亲口和您撒娇了。

生病的时候最想念您了。

今天是您回魂的日子，所以我们全部都回家。

我也开始放假了。所以啊妈，我会有一个礼拜多可以在家陪您了。

妈，我想要您可以照顾生病的我。

我真的很想念以前和您的一切一切。。。。

Today!

Mama, today I started to back to uni's life again.

Once reached uni, I doesn't feel like want to talk. Doesn't want to social.

Just don't have the mood.

My mind keep thinking of you.

Last week at this time, you just leave me. Leave me without saying anything to me. And I was on my way back to see you. I was so regret that I didn't accompany you. When I saw your body, your heart didn't beat anymore. Your eyes didn't open again. All the machines that connected to your body already been moved. You didn't response to me when I was calling you. I just keep thinking of that scene. I can still felt your body is warmed. But the reality is you already gone.

You know what, I feel stress as well because I missed 3 weeks' lectures and I scared that I can't cope with it. I scared I will disappoint you.

I'm scare of everything without you by my side.

I suddenly feel that I don't like KL's life.

I want to back hometown.

At least at there, I still can refresh back everything you did in the house and also company dad.

Mama, I really miss you alot.

I don't know when can I stand up again but I really need your support.

Mama, can you appear in front of me? Can you let me feel that you are beside me always whenever and wherever I am?

Frankly speaking, I hate Monday! I hate Monday's noon! I hate 17th.

头柒

妈，今天是您离开的第7天了。。。

在这7天里，都没有您的声音，您的气息，您的味道。。。

妈，您有回来家里看我们吗？

为什么您没有出现在我的梦中呢？

您真的不要我了吗？

我对您说过的。。。

我愿意陪在您的身边照顾您的。。。

您回来吧，妈！

回来让我实行我对您的承诺吧，好不好？

您知道吗？我今天想起那天在医院看您的最后一面。。。

我觉得他们很残忍。。。为什么那样的对您呢？

为什么不尊敬您呢？

看了让我觉得心碎。。。

妈，对不起。。。我没好好的保护您！

三朝

刚刚从墓园回来，因为今天是妈妈三朝。

说真的，家里没有了妈妈是很不自在的。

大哥昨天才说少了妈妈，家里变得很无聊。

我心都酸了。。。看着妈妈以前的照片。。。不禁想起以前的点点滴滴。

以前，每天都是一家人坐着吃饭的。可是，现在您却不在了。不再和我们坐一起，有说有笑的吃饭了。

我看着您的食物是摆放在您的灵牌前，而不是和我们一起吃了，就不禁的心痛了！

妈妈真的很可怜。。。还没有儿女享福，就这样走了！

妈。。。我的这个部落格以后将会写关于我对您的思念！我知道您一定会看到的。

我对您的思念不会减少的。。。我也不会忘记您！我会永远想念您，永远把您留在我的心中！

妈，以后我有什么事，我一定会告诉您的。一定会像以前一样和您分享我的一切的！永远都不会改变！我对您的爱。。。会是永远的！

第五天

今天是您离开我的第五天。。。

早上一起身，不见您的踪影了。

您平常躺的椅子也不再看到您了。。。

没有您的声音，您的笑声。。。真的很不习惯

再也不会有您对我唠叨，对我关心的声音了。

真的很怀念您的声音！

妈。。。您还好吗？

一个人会怕，会孤单吗？

我知道您一定会寂寞的。。。因为您是那么的喜欢热闹，喜欢我们陪在您的身边。

每当我放完假要回去读书，您一定会告诉我您很不舍得，会很寂寞，因为没人很您谈天了。

每一次您这样说，我就会很心酸，因为我是多么的想每天留在您身边呢。

我真的很想能陪在您的身边，照顾您，侍候您，陪您聊天。。。

妈，我想要见您！

一切都不一样了

我最爱的妈妈已经离开我第4天了。

昨天晚上是我最后一次见到我的妈妈真人。。。最后一次了！

她彻底的离开了我。

我非常的不舍得妈妈！为什么老天爷要那么快把我妈妈带走？

她还很年轻。。。心地善良，待人随和，她也没做坏事。。。可是为什么就让她就这样的离开我们呢？

她还有很多东西还没做的。她要参加我的毕业典礼，哥哥的婚礼，姐姐带男朋友回家。。。

妈。。。为什么您不要坚强一点战胜这一关呢？我们还很需要您的。。。

如今。。。我的生活点滴再也没有您的出现了！我不甘心！您说您最疼我的。。。可是为什么您就那么忍心的丢下我呢？

我还不会照顾我自己的。。。

我情愿生病的人是我。。。受苦的也是我。。。我什么都甘愿，只要妈妈您回来！

您还没让我好好照顾您，报答您的养育之恩。您也还没有享福的！

妈。。。您知道吗？我有很多很多的东西要和您讲的。

我很恨当初无知的我。。。当您还在的时候，我却跟您赌气一个月不和您讲话！可是现在呢。。。我要讲，您也不能回答我了！我真的很恨我自己！恨我伤害您的心！我也很后悔没有好好的珍惜您！妈。。。。。。我很想念您！您可以回家看看我吗？可以出现在我的梦中让我与您谈天吗？妈。。。。。。您的宝贝女儿非常的爱您，想您！！

Holiday End!

My semester break is going to end in 2 more days!

I don't want to back to the stress and tired days. But what to do? I still need to go back.

Am going to meet my friends in uni and my baby dear. But very soon, I need to face the final exam.

This semester is a tough sem for me because all subjects are too hard. Since first day of the semester, I didn't concentrate in the lecture, always sleep at house. Didn't revise even though there will be test tomorrow. I was totally lazing around this semester.

I miss my home very much although I'll back every weekend. But just two days were not enough for me this greedy gal. I want to stay at home sweet home forever but I know it is impossible. People will grow up. So everything will change. But no matter how am I going to change, I still will love my family very much and forever.

一场葬礼的意义

原来一场葬礼是可以看出人心的。

我的外公刚刚去世了。

我们都必须去吉隆坡出席葬礼。

这个葬礼比起那一次我的公公的来的复杂的多。

有人为了一个名字而争吵。。。有的就爱掌管一切。

人就是那么的莫名其妙。。。明明就是一家人。。。可是为什么要为了这些小事而争呢？？

人都已经不在了。。。还有什么好争的呢？？？

葬礼难道就是个让你争我夺的地方吗？？

难道就不能让他安息吗？？唉！！！！

外公，你安息吧！！！

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to my beloved mommy and mommies around the world.

Wish my mom healthy always and happy forever!!!

I love you, mom.

Today just get a news from my sister about my 3rd aunty admitted into hospital today because of her appendix get infection.

Why so many things happened all together?

My grandpa just passed away and now my 3rd aunty is at hospital.

Grandpa, please protect your daughter and let her get well soon.

Grandpa, please pray for your sons, daughters, daughter-in-laws, son-in-laws and grandchildren.

The 7th day

Today is the 7th day that my grandpa has leave me.

He is not around anymore.

7 days without his breathe, voices, smiles, and his everything.

After 7 weeks, 7 months, 7 years and later, do I still miss him like how I miss him now?

But what I know is I won't forget him. Once I start to forget his look, I'll look back to the pictures that he took with us. I will remind myself not to forget him forever. Yes, I will.

I miss you.............................and love you...........................



Emo,
Ning Shing