Friday, November 28, 2008

鬆開手,會有一個新的開始

有時候,當一段關係糟到一個地步,結束,未嘗不是好事。

彼此都已經筋疲力竭,甚至連吵架憤怒的力氣都沒有了,那麼,結束未嘗不是一件好事。

其實在那個時間點,我們彼此心知肚明,是結束的時候了,怎麼看,都是結束的時候了,再不結束,連美好的回憶都沒有了。

自己成了一個這樣面目可憎的人,什麼可怕的話都脫口而出,什麼瘋狂的舉動都無法理性控制,連自己都討厭自己的這樣悲哀的狀態,多麼想遠遠地逃離卻又捨不得轉過身去的,不堪的、煎熬的、淚流不止的狀態。

是兩個扭曲了的人,在一個不再是愛情的關係裡,再也記不得當初相愛的理由,記不得那張親愛的臉,記不得那個溫暖的懷抱,記不得耳畔低語的激情與甜蜜……什麼都記不得了,只知道兩個人像是不知道哪裡出了差錯的刺蝟,二十四小時收不起身上的刺,疲憊不已。

究竟吵些什麼呢,不知道,真的不知道,只記得那些不愉快、那些相互的傷害,早就冷冷地隔離了雙方,重新定義了關係,再也不是,再也不是曾經的親密愛人了。

然而在這麼清楚的認知底下,我們在情感上卻從沒有準備好接受分手,從沒有準備好面對別離,我們的手緊握著,握著這一段陷入混沌的關係,沒辦法鬆開手來。

只是如果沒有結束,又怎麼會有重新的開始?與這個人的再一次「開始」,與另一個人前所未見的「開始」,或者是自己一個人乾淨、簡單、新鮮的「開始」?

人與人之間的關係,是活的,是循環的,是可再生的,對,像資源回收那樣,你怎麼可能不愛素樸而富含韻味的再生紙?你怎麼可能不愛和在柏油裡於黑夜中晶亮閃爍的金剛砂?

沒有結束,怎麼開始?倘若那些紙張、玻璃瓶不曾被徹底地、果斷地拋棄,如何再製這些讓人愛不釋手的好東西?

有時候我們被迫去面對對方的離去,早有心理準備的,也或者突如其來措手不及;

有時候我們明知對方失去我們,無論永久或是暫時,都可能傷痛欲絕,但我們終究,還是選擇離去。

無論離去的理由是什麼,生離死別,從來不是一件好受的事情。

但是我寧願相信,關係的結束是為了重新的開始,無論重新開始的是哪一種關係,那總是一種向陽的期待,那總是一種多氧的呼吸;

我寧願相信,此刻鬆開手,往後站一步,儘管內心不捨,儘管淚眼迷濛,以空間換取時間,以時間換取可能,任何的可能,好過窒息在一個已經陷入泥沼的關係,好過耗盡曾經共有的真摯情意,而最終,什麼都不剩了。

多麼神奇,愛情的成與敗,皆操之在我們的手裡,我們創造了它,小心翼翼地守候著它,像呵護一株植物,日夜殷勤澆水,慢慢地,疏忽與怠惰來了,它日漸枯萎,你發現情況不對,趕緊注入大量的水,有時候它的確可以死而復活,有時候,它卻宛如瞬間溺斃,就這樣失去生息,而終有一天,落到這步難堪的田地。

然而總有再生的機會的,我寧願這樣相信,我想要自己這樣相信,我不要自己守著一盆乾枯的草木呆坐,我不許自己的心隨著一盆花草的凋謝而死去,倘若真是結束的時候,倘若不得不分離,那麼我寧願相信,我想要相信,鬆開手,會有一個新的開始,至少,是一個新的開始。

我放棄你,不代表我不愛你

我放棄你,
不代表我不愛你有一種愛,叫放手
曾經天真的以為不管時間和空間的距離有多長多遠,感情一定會恆久不變,因為愛是沒有理由的......
愛不能成為牽絆,所以要選擇放手,從容的讓彼此走出彼此的世界。凡
事到極至,傷也會痛。其實愛過就會懂,  
彼此個性的太過堅強終究會是一起生活的陰影。
昨日的幸福已成為一種痕跡。
兩人能攜手走完整人生固然美好,可陪上了一段也應心存感激了。
愛一個人不是要成為所愛的人的牽絆,只要心中有愛,生活總是那麼美好。
相遇是一種緣,相識,
相戀更是一種緣, 緣起而聚,緣盡而散,放手才是真愛!
還有一種愛,叫離開   
曾經以為自己的愛情能夠長久,曾經以為真心的付出就能夠換來幸福。   
其實錯了... ...
愛情給的唯一的東西就是背叛,無情的背叛!
曾經是那麼相愛的兩個人,轉眼陌路。
留下的是殘缺不全的記憶和心痛。
沒有想到結局會是這樣,曾經的海誓山盟,曾經的天長地久轉眼都成了飛灰。
還記得你口中的永遠,讓我恍若夢中,但夢醒的時候,才發覺你早已離開。
曾經在心中千萬次的乞求你回來,回到我的身邊,回來修補我早已殘缺不全的心,但我知道那不可能。
經常驚醒於午夜夢回的黑暗中,
我的心都好痛,是思念一個人的疼痛,
看著夜空中的星星,想著遠方屬於你的夜,你還好嗎?一直都快樂嗎?
沒有我在身邊是不是有另外一個人去關心你,愛護你。
我現在唯一的願望只是希望再見你一面,但我又怕見你,怕見到你,我的心又會再一次的被捏碎。我只有對自己說不要再去想你,不要再想了, 雖然你的影子從未離開過。
生活還是要過的。其實有種愛叫作離開。
再見了,我的愛人。  
希望自己看開點,   
離開不全是壞事,雨過總會天晴的。
爱一个人,
要了解,也要开解;    
要道歉,也要道谢;    
要认错,也要改错;    
要体贴,也要体谅;    
是接受,而不是忍受;    
是宽容,而不是纵容;    
是支持,而不是支配;    
是慰问,而不是质问;    
是倾诉,而不是控诉;    
是难忘,而不是遗忘;    
是彼此交流,而不是凡事交代;    
是为对方默默祈求,而不是向对方诸多要求;    
可以浪漫,但不要浪费;
可以随时牵手,但请不要随便分手

愛到八分剛剛好

愛的感覺,總是在一開始覺得很甜蜜,
總覺得多一個人陪、多一個人幫你分擔,
你終於不再孤單了,至少有一個人想著你、戀著你,
不論做什麼事情,只要能一起,就是好的但是慢慢的,
隨著彼此的認識愈深,
你開始發現了對方的缺點,
於是問題一個接著一個發生,
你開始煩、累,甚至想要逃避,
有人說愛情就像在撿石頭,總想撿到適合自己的,
但是你又如何知道什麼時候能夠撿到呢?
她適合你,那你又適合她嗎?
其實,愛情就像磨石子一樣,
或許剛撿到的時候,
你不是那麼的滿意,
但是記住人是有彈性的,
很多事情是可以改變的,
只要你有心、有勇氣,
與其到處去撿未知的石頭,
還不如好好的將自己已經擁有的石頭磨亮,你開始磨了嗎?
很多人以為是因為感情淡了,所以人才會變得懶惰。
錯!
其實是人先被惰性徵服,所以感情才會變淡的。
愛不僅要懂得寬容更要及時,很多事可能只是在於你心境的轉變罷了!
懂了嗎?當有個人愛上你,而你也覺得他不錯。
那並不代表你會選擇他.
我們總說:「我要找一個自己很愛很愛的人,才會談戀愛。」
但是當對方問你,怎樣才算是很愛很愛的時候,你卻無法回答他,因為你自己也不知道。
沒錯,我們總是以為,我們會找到一個自己很愛很愛的人。
可是後來,當我們猛然回首,我們才會發覺自己曾經多麼天真。
假如從來沒有開始,你怎麼知道自己會不會很愛很愛那個人呢?
其實,很愛很愛的感覺,是要在一起經歷了許多事情之後才會發現的。
或許每個人都希望能夠找到自己心目中百分之百的伴侶,
但是你有沒有想過「在你身邊會不會早已經有人默默對你付出很久了,只是你沒發覺而已呢?」 所以,還是仔細看看身邊的人吧!
他或許已經等你很久嘍!
當你愛一個人的時候,愛到八分絕對剛剛好。
愛到七八分的時候,思念的酸楚只會有七八分,獨佔的自私只會有七八分,等待的煎熬會只有七八分,期待和希望也會只有七八分;剩下兩三分則要用來愛自己。
如果你還繼續愛得更多,很可能會給對方沉重的壓力,讓彼此喘不過氣來,完全喪失了愛情的樂趣。
如果你愛一個人,隨遇而安,讓他/她自由的飛,如果最後他/她還是回到你身邊,那就是命中注定。

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

6 Izzuddin's gathering was finally make it on yesterday.
Those who attended this gathering were Xin Hui, Wye Lyng, William, Jiuh Wong, Yoon Wang, Sammy, Lin Siew, Jing Yee and I.
This gathering got 2 purposes and one is just gathering and the other one is celebration of 3 peoples' birthday. They were birthday boy and gals (Yoon Wang, Wye Lyng and Lin Siew). This purpose was planned by Xin Hui & I.
We had steamboat at Lobak there. All of us were really long time didn't meet other and we used to chat alots. We chatted about our uni's life and of course someone's love story!Haha...
We ate until 11 something and that was the end of our gathering.
I was so happy can met all of them especially Sammy, dear Lin Siew, Jing Yee and the one most nearest to me in uni but we didn't meet each other in uni before, William. Really nice to chat with them. Chat from east to west, north to south. The BEST gathering of 6 Izzuddin!

And today, Wye Lyng and I went to play badminton at Chi Hwa. We met Ming Hau and his gang were there also. We played for 2 hours.

I was really really tired because long time didn't exercise and today had over-exercise.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Lameness

Due to boring-ness, Chai Pic & I decided to camwhore using webcam. Here you go...


Normal us.

Loveeeeee

We want to eat you....
2 scary ghosts...
2 twins and 4 people.


ZOmbies...
Bang Bang Bang!!!Argh...very pain1!!
Half eye close half eye open.
My dear...where are you?
James Bond 007 Quantum of Solace.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Yesterday went out yamcha with some secondary school's friends and Chai Pic came my house for sleepover.

And today, Hwei Nee, Chai Pic and I went to Jusco for karaoke. We actually sang from 1.30pm to 4.30pm but don't know why they didn't ask us pay and didn't stop the music. So we continue sang until 6pm. It was so tiring because yesterday night I was slept at 5am.


Chai Pic, Hwei Nee & I.

Chai Pic pretend shy.
Camwhoring time.....

After karaoke, we went for dinner. Our dinner was Bak Kut Teh in Temiang. It was so delicious. I didn't eat it since ages ago. So yummy!!!!We chat alot of course.

Then, Hwei Nee sent us back to my house at 9 something.

AlthoughI was tiring, but still online chatting with my friends and blogging. hehe...

Chai Pic still in my house and I guess we will sleep late for tonight also.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I'm back to my home sweeeeeeeeet home!!!
Monday, 17.11.2008

I still at KL and I stayed at my uncle's house for the whole day.
At night, I went to Kepong Tai Tong Restaurant to have a wedding dinner.
Boring!!!
Sunday, 16.11.2008

Early in the morning, aunt's family and I went to have breakfast.
After breakfast, we went to Bukit Kiara Country Club House to have some activities.
My uncle and 2 of his daughters and a son followed him to swim and others followed my aunt to play bowling.
We played for 2 games and it was fun.
We ended our activities at 12 something and back to home.
I watched drama while waiting for my parents to come.
My parents arrived around 1 something and after lunch, we headed off to Subang to my brother's house.
After that, I felt hungry again and went to Jaya One to have again my lunch at SunWong Hong Kong Restaurant. The foods there quite nice. I was eating while waiting for my 2nd brother and her girlfriend came to join us.
After lunch, went to Gombak to find my grandfather.
Sit for awhile, we went to Selayang, my uncle's house.

At night, there have a wedding buffet organized by my cousin's wife's brother.
He was getting married and invited us to go.

That day I was quite tired and slept around 11 something.
Saturday, 15.11.2008

I slept for the whole morning and noon in my aunt's house due to raining and nothing to do.

At night, I followed aunt and her family to have dinner at outside.
After dinner, my cousins came to invite me to play cards with them.
I thought they just simply played but nope. They wanted to play money. Omg!!! Small kids like to play money.
I won and I felt like bully them. So gave back some money to them. Lolz... I was not bullied small kids ya.
We gambled till 12 something and went to sleep again.
Friday, 14.11.2008

The last day I stayed in hostel for the 1st semester.
For the whole long day, for sure I was not going to stay at college and just slept.
I went out with Yen Nee, Seng Lim and Dawn. We went to Midvalley for our very last gathering.



Seng Lim slept in the bus.


We booked the movie's tickets and we watched "The Coffin". After booked, we went to have our brunch. We have no idea what to eat, so just simply chose Domino Pizza.
After ate, still got some times, so we just sat there and chit-chat.

Seng Lim and Dawn

At 12.45p.m., we headed off to cinema. Dawn was so scared and at first she don't want to follow us to watch movie one. But she convinced by us to watch with us.
The movie was quite okay. Got few parts really scared but the last part quite boring actually.
After movie, we went to shopping. Every time we went to Midvalley, we can't really shop well due to time factor. But this time we can shop as we like. We went to a Metrojaya Fair at the conventional hall. I bought a t-shirt. The perfumes sold there were really cheap. All branded perfumes like ESPRIT, VERSACE and etc....
After that, we bought Durian Pancake again. It's so yummy....Hmmmm....
Later on, we went back to college because Yen Nee & I have to back hometown later.

At night, my sister brought me to have dinner with her old colleagues at One Utama. We went to Plus One Shabu Shabu. The foods there not really taste good actually. I thought is just normal. Well, no need I paid, so it's okay!hahaha....
Around 10 something, I went back my aunt's house and that's was my day.

Friday, November 14, 2008

No Stress, No Stress...

Yippie!!! My exam is over finally!!! I'm FREE now. Hahaha...
Before the day, I was having insomia. Omg....so suffered! Don't know what time I slept and woke up 6.30am the next day. Really tiring!
After my exam, I straight away met up with my friends and complete our plans. We got alot of plans to do right after my exam.
First of all, we went to Sg. Wang to have our Karaoke's session. It was so incredible. I love it very much. We sang alot of songs and I just realized all of my friends were good in singing. They can be singer already. Lol.... After that, Yen Nee & I saw a cake sold in Green Box. Then we decided to celebrate Kar Hooi's birhtday eventhough it was late. But nevermind, this is a suprise and he loves it.


Janet, Yeong Siang, Yen Nee, Ning Shing.

Yen Nee & I.

Next, we went to Time Square for Bowling's session. At first Yen Nee and I didn't want to play but if we don't want to play, they also don't want to play. So we forced to play also. We opened 2 lanes and had a competition between us. Of course my group was won because of Hong Chiun and Kar Hooi there. Both of them are excellent player.
After that, Hong Chiun went back first because he got somethings to do. So Hong Chiun and Jun Li went back first and 6 of us (Yen Nee, Yeong Siang, Kar Hooi, Seng Lim, Janet and I) continued our shopping hunt. We shopped from 5 something to 8 something. I know is not so long but for me who didn't sleep well yesterday night, it was so so so tiring.
After our dinner, we headed off back to college again. We bathed and went down for gossiping with Seng Lim(the most updated guy) for few hours. We were so relaxing and laugh so loud. Today is the most enjoyable time I spent in 3rd Residential College seriously. No stress at all.
Later after packing my stuff, I went to Yen Nee's room and companied her to sleep (actually is chit-chatting again and update my blog) because today is the last day we can gather annd chit chat for so long. If not doing so, we have to gossiping after 1 and a half month. Lolz.....Love them very much when having them besides me in my uni's life. Without them, my life in uni will superb duper boring I know.
That's all for now, very tired but will not sleep so soon.Lolzz....
Enjoy yours holiday, guys!! Miss you all and love ya!!!

Love,
Ning shing

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Stress.Exam

Next Tuesday, my final is going to start.
I feel like my brain is still empty even though I did revision.
Why? Is it because long time didn't study and memorise for so many things, so now can't adapt to it?
Arhgg....feel like wanna die! Stress~~~Stress~~~~
I hope exam faster finish and I can relax. (dreaming about my holiday~~~slap!!)