I was so EMO!!! For no reason......

200th's Post

This is my 200th's post.
What am I going to write about this post?Hmmm....
Let's talk about my this whole week's feelings and moods.

This whole week I was in the mixture of moods. Happy, sad, heart break..
I think I am a failure. A such big failure in human relationship.
I also don't know how to express myself in words.
Nobody can't understood me.
All things happened at once.
Aihhh....
Whatever....! I just hope all will be alright in the coming weeks.

Just want to tell you my dear(you know who you are), I LOVE YOU ALWAYS. muacckksss...
This post just special dedicated to you....

Today just get a news from my sister about my 3rd aunty admitted into hospital today because of her appendix get infection.

Why so many things happened all together?

My grandpa just passed away and now my 3rd aunty is at hospital.

Grandpa, please protect your daughter and let her get well soon.

Grandpa, please pray for your sons, daughters, daughter-in-laws, son-in-laws and grandchildren.

The 7th day

Today is the 7th day that my grandpa has leave me.

He is not around anymore.

7 days without his breathe, voices, smiles, and his everything.

After 7 weeks, 7 months, 7 years and later, do I still miss him like how I miss him now?

But what I know is I won't forget him. Once I start to forget his look, I'll look back to the pictures that he took with us. I will remind myself not to forget him forever. Yes, I will.

I miss you.............................and love you...........................



Emo,
Ning Shing

遗憾 (From cousin's blog)

原来我很少很少和我的公公拍过照,有些的遗憾...为什么公公还健在的时候,我没好好地帮公公拍过一张最完美的照片...直到那天,我才发现,但也太迟了,也无法再挽回了...最近的一张,只是拍到公公的背影而已...为什么总是在失去时,才懂的珍惜,才去后悔,我该要怎样才能挽回? 今天是公公离开我们的第四天,今晚是最后一晚,我们再也无法再见公公的一面了…为什么公公还在的时候,我没多点的回来看他,一个星期才回来一次,以前更加离谱,一个月才回来一两次而已….

还记得,公公在我小时候很喜欢帮我们按花名,好怀念公公叫我’ 老文头’(海陆风话)…今天的我在也不能听的到了, 好久好久没有和公公讲过话了,他的声音,我害怕忘记,失去了公公的声音,我该去那里寻回? 没有公公,就没有我爸爸,就没有我,公公的一生就只是在忙碌着,都没有享到福就离开了我们…去年的12月,公公突然的进了医院,直到今年他的病情也没有起色,原本今年的除夕,请别人在医院看管公公的,但想到过年,应该接公公一起过…在年除3那天,公公静静的离开我们….在他离开的时候,我们没有在他的身边….为什么公公走的时候,也不让我们在他的身边?

昨天,我的堂妹告诉我公公身前的习惯,这些是我以前都没有发觉到的…他喜欢做的事,他每天都会做的事…原来我都不了解我自己的公公,在我的印象中,公公他每天都微笑的,thn…每次去新村是,他都是在忙碌的做东西 ’砍材’ , ’砍竹遮’ ,’攪猪肉’…..

好怀念一句 ’ 公…sit fan lo…..’(吃饭咯…) ….’ 公…yim han cha lo….’ 以后再也没的叫了…..

这张是我最后一次和公公的和照,也是我觉得公公笑的最美的一张照片,原来公公笑的时候他的脸上是有酒窝的…

原来我错过了...

Post that I copied from my cousin's blog because he wrote out my feelings.

刚刚完毕了公公的丧事...在这几天里，大家也累了，哭了哭过了，也不能再做些什么了，就让公公安心的离开吧...好想，好想公公的声音...今天看了公公最后的一脸，好害怕有一天的我会忘记掉公公的膜样，‘乓’棺木盖上了，永远的...

今天我才知道原来，公公会骂人的，公公生气的时候会说‘吊’的，我现在才知道，也没听过...公公这个人蛮有些固执的，有性格gua...公公吃苹果是用汤匙挖苹果肉吃的...公公按自己的花名叫‘老铁锤’...公公喜欢看手表的，连洗碗都带着手表...公公喜欢用707肥皂冲凉...公公去冲凉前一定换上他的白色背心，蓝色短裤去冲凉，出来后穿上同一件白色背心，蓝色短裤的...公公的宠物‘miao miao kucing' 也是公公按给它的名字...公公是在马来西亚出世的...

原来公公和婆婆是同一天，同一个月出世的，一个出生于马来西亚，一个出生于中国...是缘分让他们在一起？是缘分让我成为他的孙子？是缘分，对...好想知道公公以前的故事，有好多的原来，我现在才发觉到，为什么以前的我没发觉的？

公公，今天你搬新家了，以后的日子只有你一个人而已，我们再也没有机会和你庆祝你的生日，每一个大节日，每一年的新年，2009年是我们最后一次和你度过的新年，以后再也没有机会了...是缘分让我们成为一家人，希望我们可以有下一次的缘分，上天有它的安排，安排我们今生是一家人，相信下一次的缘分，我们也能成为一家人...能成为一家人，是一个很难的的机会，在人海茫茫之中，我们能在一起度过21次的新年，真的很难的...

My grandpa's funeral just settled down.

When we sent him to his 'new house', I felt quite sad because he needs to be there alone from now on. We are not besides him. We can't take care of his daily life. We can't spend our times with him by bring him goes to play.

I can't see him anymore when I go to my grandmom's house. I can't hear his voice, his laughing, his nagging and everything.

Where are you, ahgung? Do you enjoy your new life now? Can you adapt to the new life there?

I miss my grandpa.